There has been a yearning, but never has it felt needed. It still doesn’t feel needed, but I have nowhere to turn right now.
Tonight I face many demons. In most cases, it is my own demons, but at this very moment, the demons of another are attacking me like a swarm of raging bees.
I have many loves in my life, both past and present. There are people that come in and out of your life that you love. If the love is true and honest, it is one that remains no matter what the circumstances.
Right now, I have a love that hasn’t learned to love himself. Have you ever had an undying love for someone that doesn’t love the person they are?
I didn’t know until now, how hard it was. I didn’t realize that those that cared so much about me were hurting because I couldn’t see what I was doing to myself.
Now, I understand.
To those that have tried to love me in the past, those that I have turned away, I am truly sorry. To those that haven't turned away, I don't know how I will ever show or give enough gratitude.
While there are days that loving myself is still hard for me, I now have an undying appreciation for those that have tried so hard in the past to help me see how beneficial it is to at least appreciate the person I am.
Now the real question is what is next? Do I continue giving my undying love to someone that cannot appreciate the person they have the potential to be? Or do I move on like some of those in my past did with me? If I move on, how long until he realizes how much I cared or love.
Even scarier, what if he doesn’t realize it at all?
